Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Movie Theater Etiquette

In case it isn't blatantly obvious, I see a lot of movies. But I have gotten to the point that I don't go to certain theaters or to certain showtimes. The reason is because by the time the movie is over I feel like I've wasted my time and money because inevitably someone ruins the experience.

I am a complete suspension of disbelief person and I want to get lost in a movie, but because people lack social etiquette it doesn't always happen. For example:

1. I will (most likely) NEVER go to a midnight movie again. There are always large groups of teenagers so loud, I want to scream at them! If I'm a big enough fan of a film, franchise, actor to have my almost 30 year old ass at a theater in the middle of the night I WANT to be able to watch the movie in peace! So, please shut the hell up.

2. Cell phones attached to a person's fingers. It's a movie theater, which means it's dark. I don't want to see little flashes of light unless it's the usher making sure people are behaving. People who can't put their phones in a pocket or purse should have their fingers super glued to the keys. Or at the very least be kicked out and made fun of like the woman at the Alamo Drafthouse.

3. Then there's another breed of cell phone users in the theater--those who actually TALK on their phones. In no way or place is this EVER appropriate, E.V.E.R! I don't want to hear about your dog, your mom's decorations, or your friend's STD... Seriously, I enjoy a sound mix--so even if actors aren't talking on screen, you're still ruining the flick.

4. Another etiquette (common sense) issue is children in theaters. Let me say here: I like kids; I want to be a mommy. However, certain ages of children are not appropriate at some films. For instance, if your child can only talk in terms of "poopoo" and "peepee," please--for the sake Pete--don't take them to a R rated movie that includes zombies being hacked up, kinky sex, and/or any four letter word that adults use to express anger, disbelief, or excitement.

5. And lastly, be on time; better yet, make it for the previews. If being late can't be helped, find an outside seat. 15 minutes into a movie, when I actually feel connected, I don't want you bumping my legs whispering a yelling, "excuse me." There's also a very easy solution to this problem: movie theaters typically screen the same films every 2 1/2 hours--wait until the next one!

I'm sure there are countless other things that get on my (and everyone else's) nerves. As a matter of fact I have one more: I'm in the industry, I want to watch the credits. A person jabbering behind me means I have a hard time reading. It's still dark, be quiet.

See? There are so many ill-behaved people at movie theaters in today's age it's easy to list them out. I blame cell phones and poor parenting.

In case you were curious, this post was prompted by:

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