A Week Away

I'm roughly a week away from a "milestone" birthday, and I hate to admit it but I'm ambivalent on it's meaning. I'm grateful to be alive, more in love with my husband everyday, I have a family that always supports, a wonderful career, friends who make me laugh and accept me; so I'm not really sure where this birthday is supposed to leave (or start) me.

I love being the center of attention, so my birthday is a day I look forward to (the day, not the week--that's another post for another time). But this year turning the BIG 3-0, I have absolutely no clue how I want to spend/celebrate it. This could be for a number of reasons, but nevertheless it's not very like me. When I turned 21, a fairly large group went to the beach after my best friend threw me a blowout. 21 I understood, I could legally buy alcohol and was given a license to party. But 30? I'm afraid I'm kinda clueless.

Part of the reason could be that I know a celebration on the day is highly unlikely. The day falls on a Tuesday this year, and it just so happens my hubby teaches on Tuesday nights. So there is no way we'll have a birthday dinner at 11 PM , although there will probably be cake (I know at 30 I should know better, but whatever--you only live once!).

But I think the largest reason I'm ambivalent is that I'm completely content.  There is nothing I feel that I want or even need. Don't get me wrong, we all want things--cruises, houses, dresses, babies, bathing suits, Comic Con tickets; but while I may want some of these things, I'm not jumping out of my skin having to have them.

E-v-e-r-y-o-n-e keeps asking what I'm doing for my birthday, and I've been giving a classic shrug or a quiet "I'm not sure." My dear, loving husband is beyond frustrated (I think) with me saying "I don't know." I'm afraid that I've become boring in my young age: I have NO desire to party until the sun comes up, I have absolutely NO urge to drink more than 6 beers, and under NO circumstances do I want to go to a club (which isn't something I looked forward to at 21 either).

I'm not saying I wouldn't enjoy going to a casino, karaoke dive bar, or something random that includes my amazing husband, amusing friends and seafood. But I can't seem to make a decision or even narrow down to a few decisions. I'm open for suggestions as long as I can stay in a tank top, jeans and flip flops...